xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
