Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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