oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
