hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
