dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
