ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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