And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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