I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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