Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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