In the future we'll all be gay
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
