I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
