Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
