Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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