yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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