I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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