so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
