who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
love makes seman taste better
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
