I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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