who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
