So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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