At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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