It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
