carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
