Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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