just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
