i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
