alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
only you would photoshop your dick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
