i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
