Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
