I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
