Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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