dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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