Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
