You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
