Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
