Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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