but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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