I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
