her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
