its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
