You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
