how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
