Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
