My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
