I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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