This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
