If that was your dad, he is hot
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
