after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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