Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
