bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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