So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
