he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
