the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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