so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
