i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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