ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize