White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I party with great urgency now.
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