White coat. Heels.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
