just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
