Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's even glitter on my cock...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
