i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
