Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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