She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
