Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
