Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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