worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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