where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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