would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
