I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
