dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
