that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
