Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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