Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
